310309

hello hello. unfortunately blog making events are presently in future and not in the past. so today our studies fall upon two pictures of things. todays installment is two things that i use alot.

exhibit one. a banana guard. get one.


this book is a bestseller/ticket to the best party in town.
so with the mouse away hitting the slopes we shall try and find a source of money to fill the proverbial jar on top of the fridge.
much love if you joined the group. sorry for half a post not quite living up to half a post but rest assured next week shall bring literary joys aplenty.
x

270309

so, my apologies dearest reader that no fewer than eleven days have now past since our promise of not so long next time. but hey, its been a hard week. especially as weeks come half as long as they do in times of financial security, without which there is far less other types of security.

so to skip past a swift metaphorical thunderstorm for want of a better synonym (maybe even an accurate one at that) we shall begin the recollection of memories on one fine thursday, wherefore i would like you to paint a mental picture.

warm sunny thursday, eight thirty a.m. and wakey wakey rise and shine says magic fm (this, with no complaints from me, having the best signal you can buy for £2.50 at the only store you literally shop from a catalogue in). however, i want to point out here there is no epic story to follow, i just wanted you to get a feel for this nice weather we were treated to last week.
but to continue, a short while and a bus journey later and catford was the backdrop for a drop in cup of tea with the sister, before a trip to brockley ripping more cds than the subject of recent channel 4 hit red riding. which i haven't seen.

twenty four english hours later and it was the celebration of your favourite dogs one whole year betrothal to one mousey, where after a quick appearance from mint we hit the best burger establishment in town and marvellous that was.

saturday and the weekend turned up unannounced, and it was to my favourite story in peckham with mousey, politics, maths, dubble, glasgow, german, funkyhouse, temp, computer, grrr, model, camberwell, curly, flan and others to say our fond farewells to giz and cocktail. and this was certainly a wonderful story complete with a campfire and a happy ending.

so after one fourth sunday of lent for a certain parent and a jam with the famalam plus mousey, monday called and said the week was anew. and freecycle was the bearer of good news bringing not a free bike as the name might suggest but a television for the merry price of zero pence. scrumdiddlyumptious.

oh dear, as i have just had to change the title of todays post due to the overlapping of time i will summarise this week into just this: park, mousey, oxfam, videos, cv. hopefully you can get the picture of what ive done from that.

now ah ah ah before you go the bell does not mean that todays lesson is over for i have some homework for you. read 'the perks of being a wallflower'. listen to melody gardot. and watch 'mad men'. and this shall bring you eternal happiness.
also, join the group 'life of a dog' on your favourite social networking site, that will make you even more happy. and i promise, pictures when i have some good ones.

150309

so with no less than two requests on this sunnyday for an update i apologise for letting 10 whole days slip by without a whisper from your canine hero.
also, reports have been made, and i'm not naming names but i'm looking at you there at the back that life of a dog is not so understandable lest we have regular meetings with activities explained in full english. but never fear wayward travellers for i will try to write simpler. (did you get all that?)

SO presumably after last weeks post (as we shall refer to them, 10 days or not) not much happened as memory only brings us forward to tuesday, upon which i scrambled through the rain to sidcuppycup to once again be scrutinized and the receiver of smiles from professional liars. this of course was softened by the comforting appearance of hailstones, funny walk and putney (ten points if you know all of these but none lost if not). and such is the way of things when days are rainy the day was rained away (say that out loud) it was suddenly

wednesday, and me and curly were up to middle earth to find out just how many of your finest establishments were not short of staff. and i don't know about you but i remember the excuse for everything being short of staff. i wish i wanted to be a train driver.
then of course the week was too busy to stay in one place and thursday brought some sun back from the cold house of winter, and it was down to goldsmiths (where they do not make gold, despite the grand title). two posters and a clearout later and we doubled on the two for one as me, mousey, jammy dodger and flowera rode the pizza express half way home, and all the way home after a quick pit stop.

now you would think that after such a busy week and no 925 keeping me busy we would be using the fastfoward button we so often visit at these times. but no. oh no.
friday spelt b-u-sy where after a quick visit to the vets i was the subject, case in point, whatever you like for photoshoot no.1 for a friend.
this was then followed by a race to new cross on robin (i will explain just this once that robin is my two wheeled pride and joy friend) and a marvellous meeting with smokey, curly, dubble, glasgow, fierce, jammy dodger, architect, happy, brute, and more fuelled by only one pint of the very best aich-two-oh.

my my readers, i do believe so much has happened already that we may have to pause for breath. unless you read in your head? is it your voice? that'll bake your noodle.
so while we are all short on time, i will breeze through photoshoot no.2 which was all smiles and a lesson in snapping from architect and a surprise cup of tea with camberwell, sorel, model and grr. this of course all before me, mousey, mint imperial, scholar and others were jamalamming to the spinnings of the 70 or so year old dj derek and all his reggae stylings in the setting and title of your favourite film (prizes for working this out unless you know already).

so a bright light morning and walkies from brockley to home brings us to the end of todays blog. once again, my sincere apologies for too much or not enough metaphorical treats, and for a lengthy post. but a well done you for getting to the end and i will leave you with a promise of pictures next time. i always say that.
x

050309

before we start; last weeks poll turned out a 50/50 result. this together with the report from camberwell that not everyone can vote means there could be 100+ readers. way too much to think about, so, err....lets begin.

so picture this; one wednesday morning not too long after the last blog your favourite dog/human was back once again at paddington, as always, on the lookout for bears and trains. fast forward 120mins and all things brizzle were before my eyes, and i made sure to have a special eye out for unruly teenagers, supernatural beings, smackheads, politics and maths. a short walk later and politics and i were telling computerised checkouts that everything was potatoes, when later i was thrust before what one might call a common room. two cups of tea and little sleep later and it was over to see maths past what could have been any green in london.
then came the 330 o clock we all remember looking forward to, and after taking myself for walkies, politics and i were back with maths and 30 reasons why i'm not a student. this was sadly followed by more potatoes this time in the form of liquid, on to what felt like an advert break's time in a club and back to chez politics to see what we had for dinner. so on to friday and a shaky bus/train ride plus a promise to my canine liver of never again and it was back to mousey and some peanut butter to soothe the wounds.

forgive my forgetting all other connectives commonly used in storytelling apart from so, then and before dear readers, these times do inspire a mind crunch among some.

a time check; this brings us to 280209 and another weekend popping up unannounced with me, mousey, model, grrr, sorel, camberwell, and brazil going to deepest darkest wimbledon to bid farewell to sir.

onwards and upwards said the cat, which i barked at and later wished i'd listened as we come (in 6 minutes) to friday and another week lost down the proverbial back of the sofa. this of course being that plans may have been laid for grand results, thought this is yet to be seen.
ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a free man.
until next we meet, scholars. reports on my desk by 9am.

230209

i was going to start this post with a grand 'spring cometh' but no. march 20th apparently? i think maybe in the land before blogs/fossil fuels/time seasons started bang on time. 

i know also that i said i would post every week but hey, you get what you pay for.

SO picking up from many moons ago i can only really remember the past week, or what it says on my calendar. oh my canine memory fails me. so we will begin with 160209 which contained nothing but a trip back to the dole office but this time with no line waiting. 24 hours later and it was tuesday where bus diversions plus a model with no timekeeping skills made a day into an hour.

next was to the station where my 2 lonely coins were swallowed and you favourite dog went ticketless with the talking circle saying it was ok, only straight into £20 of injustice and a back row seat on the waterfront. this will lead to collie vs southeastern round 1, results of which i will inform thee whence this occurs.

wednesday and i was in oval, and after a quick thou knows't this and i tell thee that and your favourite dog was now ready for acting. an agency, watson. this was shortly followed by amersham with camberwell, mousey and greenwich where 2 for 695 was the deal and plenty was the order. 

thursday brought nothing i can remember followed by pete postlethwaite as our favourite shakespearean king with the fam, and a phone call from pepsi with an early call of 720 at slough.

while the answer should have been no, bang and it was 520 and your favourite canine blogger was en route to slough via paddington calling at everywhere but breakfast. then of course was 9 hours of waiting with what turned out to be 4 very nice people, 5 strange and one person with a brain made of playdoh. 5 hours of filming and travelling and new x was again the word, where liverpool made a very special appearance that i was all too late for once again, along with kangaroo, grrr, model, happy, police, various, sorel and mousey. 

so a quiet weekend brought curly back from skiing (weeks after greenwich was the alps) and after a quick drink with grrr and the former it was sunday and me and mousey were with simon amstell and 16 and 1/2 other couples checking out some work in progress. 

very sorry this post made no sense. if you want to see more or less metaphorical writing, put it on a postcard to the usual address. or any other comments. 

now there are 5 readers to my knowledge (curly, politics, cocktail, mousey, sheffield) but i want to know how many, so i have included a poll. would you like to see blog titles or just dates as before? i probably wont listen but vote if you read to the end. so i can see how many and if i should start charging/publishing in hardback. 

100209

so i know i said i would post every week but snow day is no real day and thats what last week started like if you live anywhere. course me curly, feline and the rest caught the beginnings of the almost spring wonderland in lewisham wherefrom i was dusted like a cake underneath a bus stop. this was followed by our own version of 'the hills' (is that an american teen sitcom? not sure) only ours was about sliding down snow on stuff like a box for a bin that i found. and greenwich park surely walked all over catford and wherever you were.

so that was cold and your favourite blogdog built a snowman. but the cold stopped me building a snow dog. then came tuesday which was much the same as monday but plus mousey and jammy dodger, more cups of tea and a fast forward to...

wednesday when after saying my full address 4 times i was lying upon the bed giving something back (blood). exactly 470ml in 5 minutes and 47 seconds. needle stung but i thought of something else and it was okay cos dogs can only think of one thing at a time.

this followed by the pub with mousey and model brought quickly along friday and then friday evening and then friday night where for the first time in 2009 me, mousey, model, grrr, camberwell, brazil, and french were not panicking but roxying all the same, until 3am! impressed? 

so saturday spelt portobello and the market with everything and nothing before oh my this post is eventful and i hopskipped over to broca for jamz with kangaroo, curly, liverpool, jammy dodger, flower, uncle jack, various, hetttttttttttie, loo, trumpetface, bauke, mauke, not a bad lost peasant and others which was sikbruhtruss. this of course being slang for good. and made all the better by a real life cryptic crossword.

lazy sunday then started with the phone coversation with the least decisions made per sentence ever and a quick jump to monday with rainy time, brownies and a ticket to ride europe. the board game. so that's done! 

in other news, i'm a financial genius.

find me a job please. you can have a brownie if you eat all of your tea.

x

290109

oh woe is woe is me and everyone else in these credit crunch times. maybe when this is all over we can have a novelty budget cereal called credit crunch. no?

this travesty hit full force when me and curly took a trip down to the museum of maritime in the bit of greenwich soon to be filled with horses (apparently not racing as i thought). and apparently being a gallery assistant is the best job in the world as there were 400 of your best businessman clamouring after 20 jobs. but maybe this was a blessing in disguise as your canine blogger may soon be bounding up and down the aisles of exam rooms as none other than an invig-i-la-tor. this probably won't really happen though.

other activities in the past week have included that old 2for1 pizzaexpress that everyone has done, swimming (in preparation for a lifeguard course. honestly.) and days going by faster than you can say i don't even know what day it is today.

so with mousey in btown and some of the gang in amberland plans for the weekend include the pub, twice. this of course all in anticipation of giving blood on wednesday. how you ask?

i think they will just ignore the dog thing and go straight in with the prick on the paw (to check iron levels) and then i will give the weirdest pint i have ever bought anyone.

also, (yes, this is worthy of a new paragraph) since finding out i have atleast 3 regular readers i will start writing this every week. and do tell me if you read! and i will have a job by next week.

collie x

210109

considering how little your favourite dog has been doing these days i really should blog more. there is literally nothing else to do. definitely gonna remember how driven inside everyone is by the cold when we all get that yearning for the opposite season in deepest summer/winter.

so, a round up; since my last post mulled wine and hot spicy cider has been the way of things, not in an alcoholic way but making me sweet for £10 an hour and off the dole. this all before the owner has been jetsetting for a month of course, so back to the fortnightly shame including being made to stand outside in the rain because i was 5 minutes early. 

in other news with doors closing left and right i still have a burning urge to bark at the thought of a certain two people, perhaps reading this, perhaps because maybe it is so easy to forget people after a year of closeness for lucky and sticksy?

on a lighter note, seeing the words appear with a question mark did conjure up the image of carrie from satc (or sitc as you might think) writing her column. i haven't watched it, just heard about it...

apologies for the lack of form but metaphors require inspiration of which my all too familiar home offers none. i'm taking myself for walkies but check back here in a week and there will be another post with all the metaphors and exciting stories you can possibly imagine. with pictures. x

241108

so if you're really bored you can read through all my blogs ever and then you will really feel like you're inside my head. but theres way too many metaphors it would just fuck you up.

now with mousey gone and the nurse calling in sick and my stomach too full for lunch i thought i'd start my blog but on blogspot and with photos. because being unemployed calls for these things.

i went to somerset and we made apple crumble. which i think now is my favourite food.
and i have no idea if this was before or after i took this picture of a lozenge among the veggies.


he's happier than he looks, promise.
oh, and i met the president.
and then i took this picture of little mi from the moomins.score. x

slightly newer posts

071108

oh so times have changed. summer caught an early train and autumn made just a token visit leaving us with winter. so, a summary since my last post:
ibiza was the holiday of a lifetime, with lads aplenty and sun/sea even the beach boys would envy, before back we came to gigs i can't even remember!
so along came mr.bank and demanded i work for money, so just one month behind bars and serving pints followed before being investigated by the fbi before they gave me benefits. (this is not recommended, unless like you me you need lots of medical prescriptions for lungs and nose for free instead of £7.01 a pop!) and still only £100 the better.
then after a few lonely appearances at the office the cold mistress of winter really did descend on everyone, with lucky breaking free and literally destroying two walls of the office and taking homebase for the ride, while mousey and your favourite dog were like abandoned pups tied to a lampost in the rain like on the adverts.
what with the absence of politics, maths, ecowarrior, goth, morrisey, we must alll embrace the obamazing result! and of course your favourite dog always has a mouse and the christmas spirit (which owes me big time with this years weather) hopefully bringing everyone home and to their senses.

what next for your canine hero? answers on a postcard in 4 frame cartoon to the usual adress. winner gets christmas biscuits, which are seriously the best you will ever taste this side of the us election.
and our weekly survey; are you glad to see the blog back? comment yes or no and results will be shown in a pie chart next post.

listen to death cab for cutie, you'll love them.
xx

Currently listening :
You Can Play These Songs with Chords
By Death Cab for Cutie
Releas




300708

so being a full eighteen days since my last post and 48 hours before the plane for lads island leaves i thought i don't know how to finish this sentence so whatever.

oh and what a lot you can fit into the number of days equal to my years! nothing short of the geldof family party (not really) and a trip to the seasad town so far east hope has forgotten it's there, followed later in the week by my succumbing to the yankee dollar and training to work not for the man but serving him canapes.
then of course it was the cold red box 93 feet east of wherever and the stables before partying back east for a festival for girls and an early night.

and suddenly it was the weekend where friday (or saturday) was spent with smarr, bell, flan, spam and darling and the longest i have ever waited for a 53 in my entire life bar once or twice. and then snap and i was back in the den with kangaroo smashing out some new ones before being joined by office and darling, after which i scarpered quick before betting away all my posessions in poker.

so quick as a flash in memory land came the rehearsal sandwich with soho gig party filling with a bill of £0.
this of course all interspersed with sunbathing, useless showers and hours upon hours of public transport, where underground it is hot enough to make your favourite dogs eyelids sticky.
blog will return possibly in ibeetha if internet exists out there.
i bet i;'ve forgottn somrhting.
smashing. x




130708

so with another hop, skip and train journey i was in sunny bournemouth, where it was straight down to the beach for beer and barbecue (bbbbq) before (not quite) sixty million drinks at (not nearly) sixty million postcards, followed the next day by hasty shopping, milkshakes and another dip in the ocean, which this time offered me a rock sharper than a knife on the bottom of my foot, an affliction still to this day turning my foot side on to avoid stinging. so of course it was back to nearby 60,000,000 and before i knew it the countryside was whizzing past and mousey appeared on the platform with the best ice cold fruit drink this side of anywhere. then just like that koko (not cocoa) was before me and another few seconds brought us to a sinfully empty club and a treat of prompt buses.

but there was no time to rest as drama called and fastforward to dulwich where the rest of the blood relatives were. but 4 glasses of pimms later and i was on a train to wherever and adlibbing my way to victory at worstival in what should have stayed as a wacky idea with the genius responsible being laughed out of the boardroom. those poor zebras.

so with our fair share of dog and mouse lazy bones time, we were before the money men, in between which i set out to make a few bucks of my own, and the evening bringing the most awkward bouncer in history and cans (?!!) of water.

snap and i was awake, saturday morning and no change but becoming legal and no longer living in the shroud of lies before the eyes of those on the other side of bars. one birthday, drama performance, cake, and lots of presents later and me, mousey, lucky, emcee, business, footballer, labour, morrisey, jb, brazil, model, grrr, blind horse and the rest were at the hobgoblin where i rode the wave of lots of alcohol to a hangover free sunday, doing nothing in particular with my favourite little mouse.

loving: cameras and the agony of never being happy enough with an idea for 'design your own cover'.
x